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Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Top 5 best places for safari in Africa

            Top 5 best places for safari in Africa


1. National Reserve Masai Mara (Kenya)

  Kenya is the most popular country for safari, and the Masai Mara reservation is the most popular wildlife sanctuary in Kenya. From October to July, you can witness the grandiose seasonal migration of millions of wildebeests and zebras. Also, it is possible to go on a cultural tour of the Masai tribal areas; this will definitely expand your horizons.

 

2. Chobe National Park (Botswana)

 The Chobe National Park is located in the delta of the Okavango River and contains 4 different eco-systems. In Savushi (The Savuti marsh), in particular, is concentrated the largest number of wildlife species of Africa, all year round. The Chobe boasts 120,000 elephants, so you are unlikely to miss them while enjoying a safari. It is best to visit the Chobe from May to September: dry, cool months of winter. Herds of zebras, antelopes and wildebeest, buffaloes and giraffes gather around Savuti at this time of year. The Chobe can be reached by car, it makes the trip less expensive, compared to other parks in Botswana. Also, a wide range of housing is available, which is suitable for any budget, you can even rent a whole houseboat (a barge adapted for habitation).

Monday, March 27, 2017

Anecdotes about the apocalypse



Anecdotes about the apocalypse

- What will be the end of the world?
- Above the world will be heard the music of the completion of Windows. And everything will disappear.

My cat, sensing the imminent end of the world, sleeps all day in a panic.

- The man in the bunker has prepared 2 tons of toilet paper. Apparently a dirty ass for him is a much more terrible thing than a lack of food.

Enough to scare everyone at the end of the world! It's not scary to anyone.
Better scare everyone by the end of the Internet.

- What will you do if there comes a nuclear winter?
- I'm going to play snowballs.
- NUCLEAR !!!
- TENTACLES !!!

After numerous false prophecies about the coming Apocalypse that have become a tradition, it remains only to declare the End of the World a national holiday and celebrate it every year.

I think the real end of the world will be like this - with beer and cameras: by the time the seventh angel sounds, the first six records will be posted on Youtube.

There are two men, one asks:
- What will you do if you find out that tomorrow the end of the world will come?
- Yes, I'll just start fucking everything that moves !!! What are you going to do?

"I'll try not to move!"

The basic rules of survival in the hike



The basic rules of survival in the hike

- When going to nature, be sure to bring along a map, compass, communication equipment (mobile or cell phone and spare charged batteries to them).

- Inform about your route to relatives and friends. If possible, register with the local search and rescue team. Determine the key date of return. Agree on the frequency of communication sessions.

- Each member of the group should have matches with waterproof packing, a lighter, a knife, a minimum set of products.

- Moving on the terrain, mark on the map visible landmarks that will help you find your way back.

- If you are still lost, and you do not have a map or a compass, if possible, climb the highest tree and look around the neighborhood, then go to the highway, the railway, the river or the power lines - they will lead to the village.

- If possible, contact the rescue team. While waiting for rescuers, go to an open area (glade, river bank, etc.) Lay out on the ground and hang on the bright objects. This will help rescuers, if the search will be conducted from the air.

- In addition, before you go on a hike, make sure that you have learned the route well and you know the pathways along which your route will pass. Take an interest in the conditions of the terrain and the weather forecast. Be sure to bring your travel cards with you. To obtain reliable information, contact the local authorities.

- Make sure that your equipment meets the requirements of your trip. Bring a sufficient supply of food and beverages, necessary clothing, in particular, thermal underwear.

- Avoid hiking alone. The group that goes on a trip must consist of at least three people. If suddenly an accident happens to someone, one of the participants of the campaign will remain with the victim, and another will go for help.

- Be sure to inform your relatives and friends about the passage of your route and the expected time of your return from the trek.

- During the hike, try to follow the path and do not descend from it. Then you will never get lost.
- Before arranging a camp, be sure to familiarize yourself with the local rules for breeding open fire. In many places, open fire is prohibited by local regulations.

- Try not to disturb the environment with loud cries and music.

- Constantly take care of the environment. Try not to harm the flora and fauna. Be sure to take all your waste with you. And in the event that you find other people's waste, then manifest your culture and take them with you. Organic materials, although easily decomposed, must be buried or taken away with them. It is not necessary that animals eat this waste.
If you use detergents, then try to do this procedure at a distance of not more than a hundred meters from the water source.

- To go to the toilet is desirable at a considerable distance from the route and possible sources of water. For this purpose, it will be best if you dig out a small pit, which you then need to fall asleep. Use any fuel to burn used toilet paper.

- If you took a dog with you, do not forget to learn about the local rules of keeping animals. Try to keep it all the time on a leash. Local rules sometimes require this.

- Read local laws regarding fishing and hunting. In most cases, these activities need to have permission from local authorities.

- If you found damaged signs on the route, be sure to write down their exact location and inform the relevant authorities. The absence of such signs can create difficulties for other tourist groups.


- First aid. An integral part of the tourist equipment during the hike is the availability of a first aid kit. The first aid kit should include a set of tools and medicines for emergency care. This will include gauze compresses, bandages, antibiotic cream. Also included are various hand sanitizers, pain relievers and individual medications. The contents of the first aid kit should correspond to the peculiarities of weather conditions, terrain and various features of the region where your route will take place.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Tips for survival in the crowd



Tips for survival in the crowd

Imagine that you were among the crowd. Already by itself, being in a dense cluster of people causes discomfort and this is quite normal. Now imagine that the crowd suddenly panics. It can happen instantly, literally from one sound or a minor action. It's worth panicking alone, and then all the others go crazy. Maybe it's even worse - there are provocateurs or aggressive people in the crowd. We put here the most terrible of possible circumstances - you, a strong man, but with you your wife and child. In this situation, not only your health, but also the life of your loved ones depends on your timely actions. You must know what to do when you are in an uncontrolled or panicking or aggression crowd.

Here are a few tips:

1 Do not lose self-control, keep on your feet

2 Do not go against the crowd, move along with a mass of people, gradually shifting diagonally to the edge of the crowd

3 Deeply inhale, close your hands in the castle and put them slightly apart

4 Legs raise higher, do not climb on tiptoe, lean on full foot

5 If possible, get rid of the scarf, and bags

6 To put the child on the neck, and the woman to lead in front of him

7 In an aggressive crowd, look below the level of a person's eyes, but not in the floor

8 Avoid: large people, large bags, pillars, columns, any protruding objects, narrow openings

9 In case of a fall, curl up in a tangle, close your neck with your hands. Do not lean on your hands. Try to get up, making a dash hull and leaning on the knee




We sincerely wish that you never needed this knowledge, but if it turned out so, act correctly. It will save your health and save your life.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

How to use a smartphone for survival?




How to use a smartphone for survival?

If you get lost or get into an emergency situation in an absolutely wilderness, it's logical to use a smartphone to navigate and call rescuers. But what if the battery is damaged, the phone is damaged or there is no mobile connection? It turns out that even in this case the gadget can still serve and, probably, save your life.

The most important thing to remember in this case: your smartphone is simply stuffed with different wiring, as well as plastic, electronic and metal parts. When it comes to survival, it's worth forgetting about the cost of the gadget, parsing it and figuring out how to use them. Here are a few ideas.


Battery

Lithium-ion battery smartphone is one of the most important components. We all remember the stories about how defective batteries of some devices can spontaneously ignite. This is due to the fact that lithium is an alkaline metal with a high reactivity and, when in contact with air, it usually lights up. So why not take advantage of this to build a fire?

This method is reliable, but one-time. Therefore, if you want to be able to fire a fire several times, it is worth choosing a more gentle method of using the battery. To do this, you need to find in the electronic insides of your smartphone some thin wires or even foil to close the contacts.

Screen

If the whole screen of the smartphone, then it is best to use it as a light reflecting element for distress signals. A sunny bunny from the screen can be seen for miles.

If the screen is broken, then still do not rush to throw it away. In vain, what, the best laboratories of the world have developed this ultra-strong tempered glass? With it, you can refresh a carcass of shallow prey or sharpen the end of a wooden stick.


Motherboard

The motherboard of the device consists of a fairly hard and sharp edge of the material, which, depending on the need, can be used as a scraper or even a knife. If you break the board into several parts of a suitable shape, then you will get very sharp tips suitable for small darts. Do not forget to first carefully inspect all electronic components in search of the most suitable for the role of a fishing hook.

Speaker

Everyone knows that in the dynamics of almost any smartphone you can find a small magnet. Various small procrastinations in the gadget also suffice. So, you can build a compass.

To do this, simply put a magnetized piece of wire on any sheet and place it on the surface of the water. As a result of the action of the Earth's magnetic field, one of the ends of the wire will point you to the north.

In the movie below, a few other materials are used, but it gives a visual representation of the sequence of actions.

Headphones

More than half of mobile gadget owners never part with headphones, so we decided to include this accessory in the review. Of course, you will need a headset no longer as a source of beautiful music, but as a strong and thin cord. There can be dozens of different situations, when it can be useful to you, for example, as a line for a fishing rod or a tourniquet to stop the blood from trauma. Therefore, in any case, do not throw your favorite headphones, even when you are completely out of music.


And what methods of using a mobile phone for survival can you offer? Complete this article with class advice, and we'll include it in the text!

Anecdotes about lions




Anecdotes about lions

"Damn roaming!" Thought the lion at every phone call in the stomach.

The little boy says: - Tell me, why do lions eat only raw meat? "They can not cook," the older sister answers.

The trainer with a very large head made a number with a thrust of the head in the mouth deadly for the lion.

After a week's hunger strike, the lion finally admitted that the zoo guard is the king of the beasts.

There is a priest in the desert, and a lion is at the meeting. The priest begins to pray: - Lord, inspire these lion Christian thoughts. The lion kneels: - God, bless my food!

The latest news: - In the Dutch zoo, a lion ate a visitor and died of an overdose.

Circus. The arena is played by trained lions. One says to another: - Something the audience has bored. The cage is not high - let's cheer...

The lion collected all the animals and said: "Today we will eat the most cowardly." The hare runs out and yells: "I will not give a boar for offense!"

Today I heard on the radio that an adult lion needs 20 hours to rest every day. "I knew I was a grown-up lion!"

- Look, look! Your lion has attacked your mother-in-law!
"Did he attack himself?" Let him and get out...

The lion trainer was completely absorbed in his work.

Mature couple in the circus:
"What do you think, Elsa, what would this lion say if he could talk?"
I'm a leopard, Elsa - came from the arena.

The lion, the king of beasts, gathered the animals and said:
- Beautiful left, smart right.
The beasts were gone. One monkey remained. The lion asks:
- And why are not you going anywhere?
The monkey responds:

- And what should I rupture?

28 places for travel



Inspire the beautiful corners of our planet and think about what kind of travel you dream. Surely there is a place that will attract you.

28 places for travel

1 The temple of Angkor-Wat is so expressive a monument of architecture that it is considered to be the eighth wonder of the world. Giant splendor of this structure will amaze you with subtle lines. What are the towers in the shape of a lotus!



2 An observation deck on the top of a skyscraper 828 m high - this is really a chic review of the surroundings. This is the tallest building in the world called Burj Khalifa and it is located in Dubai.



3 Not far from Paris, near the Palace of Versailles, there are wonderful labyrinths of gardens. Patterned alleys are intertwined with each other so beautifully that they make you want to go straight for a walk.



4 The terrain is similar to Mars. Arizona "wave" - ​​sandy hills, they really resemble the alien dunes. If you get there, you can mix up reality and a fictional fantasy world.

The most luxurious cave in the world







The most luxurious cave in the world

Angelo Mastropietro is a modern caveman. But this does not mean that he is far from civilization or his home is deprived of comfort. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Cave Angelo - a real "dream house", a luxurious refuge from the city noise and bustle.

 


This house - the first in Britain, a truly inhabited cave of the 21st century. There are some village charms here, like a stove heated with firewood, but there is also a modern electric stove and other amenities of modern civilization that belong to the modern dwelling.

20 basic rules of survival



20 basic rules of survival

Our life is full of dangers: earthquakes, avalanches, tsunamis, hurricanes, car accidents and air crashes happen all the time and almost everywhere, and information on how to act correctly in such a local apocalypse can greatly increase your chances of survival. So, here are some useful tips:

1. Never Eat Raw Food

With food, do not take risks. Before you eat something, cook or fry your improvised breakfast, lunch or dinner, and boil water. In another case, there is a chance to pick up any malignant bacterium or rod and get sick. And in the middle of the desert no one will take you to the hospital.

2. Try to stay dry in frost

The humid surface at a low temperature loses heat 20 times faster - this also applies to the human body. If, for some reason, you still need to drink in water, take off your clothes, keeping it dry, and do not expect until you have dried yourself. To dry faster, you can lie in the snow (snow absorbs water), quickly dress and immediately light a fire.

3. Remember the "rule of three"

If things do not turn out well, and the question is how much you still have, then remember the "rule of three": three minutes without air, three days without water and three weeks without food.

4. Do not forget the time

You can simply keep track of the days. If you do not, the brain will start joking with you with evil jokes.

5. Never give up

The road will be mastered by the one walking along it. A non-going - can not master. Having decided to surrender, you do not leave yourself a chance to survive. So never give up.

6. Do not eat if you do not have water

The more you eat, the more your body needs water. Before you eat, make sure that you still have water, otherwise you risk dying of thirst.

7. Stay in the crash zone

If you are in a plane crash and you do not know where, you, of course, should look around for water sources and collect something to eat, but then be sure to return to the plane - or to what's left of it - it will be much easier for rescuers to find you there , Than in any forest jungle.

8. Keep a reliable knife with you.

If you go on a fascinating journey through the forests of the Amazon, keep with you a reliable folding knife - with such a knife you can not only cut the liana on the way, in which case it will help you to kindle a fire.

9. There is no water? Drink the urine!

Yes, it sounds disgusting, but there is no other way out: without water, you will surely die, and on "urino therapy" stretch a couple more days. Urine can also be treated with wounds, and in hot weather it can moisten a piece of tissue, using it as a cold compress.

10. Keep a small backpack with you.

Give preference to small, waterproof and light types of backpacks - for example, such as for canoeists. Cumbersome, large mountaineering and tourist backpacks will only interfere with their weight; they also strive to catch on some branch.

11. Put the phone in the packages.

Or in two packages. In any case, make it waterproof: if you suddenly find yourself in the range of cell towers, it is better that the phone was working.

12. Save energy - breathe through your nose

Your body consumes much more energy when you breathe with your mouth. In addition, breathing through your mouth, you lose a lot more moisture - and it's your weight in gold. So try to breathe through your nose.

13. Mark your way

Do not rely on your memory. Do notches on trees, break branches - anything, if only you could then go back and not get lost.

14. Stay calm

It's easier said than done, but it's very important to remain calm - stress can turn a relatively small problem into a real catastrophe.

15. Stay Hungry

Eat exactly as much as you need to be toned. Do not fill your belly, gorging on your fill - so you will not only waste precious supplies of food, but you will feel sluggish.

16. Carry with you another pair of socks

They are useful for you - you know, you need to keep your feet warm. As with the phone, they should also be rolled into a bag to keep dry and change every day. Clean, warm socks will make your survival much more comfortable.

17. Always carry water with you.

Even if you go on an innocuous hike to nature, always take a jar of water with you. In the desert, you will hold out for a maximum of 3 days without water, a week - in the case of a moderate temperature of 16-29 degrees.

18. Take care of the water!

The water in the jar lasts a maximum of a day. Therefore, instead of drinking everything at once, try to make small throats throughout the day - so you will save supplies and do not die of thirst.

19. Take refuge

Find a secluded place where you could hide from the sun piercing to the bones of wind or cold - you can hide in the shade of trees or in a cave (preferably uninhabited). If anything like this can not be found - improvise! Build yourself shelter from improvised means: for example, from branches and moss.

20. Cover your head


Be sure to keep your head warm in cold weather, but do not forget that in the heat it is also necessary to have any headgear. It's not necessary to follow the latest fashion trends - you can just wrap the T-shirt around your head, and that will be enough. So you protect the head from sunstroke, and your body will not spend excess energy on its cooling.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Anecdotes about bears



Anecdotes about bears

A man lost his way in the forest. It stands and yells: "Ay, ay, ay!"
Behind him, someone claps. Turns around - a bear.
Bear: "Man, why are you yelling?"
Man "Lost, maybe someone will hear."
Bear: "Well, I heard, it became easier for you?"

The old bear teaches the young:
"You have to attack a person so that he can see and react to you."
- What for?
"They're tastier then, there's no shit in them."

Two bears sit in a den and look thoughtfully at the falling leaves.
One says:
"How I wish I did not sleep in the winter to look at the fools who glue them back."

In the lair of a little bear asking the pope:
- Dad, shows the puppet theater!
Bear-daddy:
- Leave it!
"Well, Dad, show me the puppet theater!"
- Sleep, come on, it's too late!
- Well, Dad!
The bear-daddy goes to the corner of the den, takes out two human skulls, puts them on the front paws and says:
First skull: - You hear, John! And here bears are found?
Second skull: - Where does the bear come from?

The duck hunter, after a misfire, gets frustrated. Hunter for bears, after a misfire, does not have time to get upset.

When meeting a bear, you need to pretend to be dead. - The bear will understand that before him a complete moron, and will not get involved.

- Where have you been? - In the woods. - What did you do there? "I wanted to fight a mad bear." - What for? "To rest from domestic chores, dear."

You're no longer small to sleep with a teddy bear. Sleep with the present, be a man!

Few people know that "Au!" In translation into the language of bears means "Lunch".

Bear, who learned to scream "Ay!" never is hungry.


A hefty mechanical bear, revived by a touch, was supposed to attract people to the shopping center. And he created a huge line in the toilet.

SOS from a teenager



SOS from a teenager

Imagine: your teenager is ringing late at night, walking with friends. He has an uncertain and a little tense voice, but when you ask what the matter is, he says that everything is all right.

The next day it turns out that he used alcohol yesterday or first tried drugs ... because he did not know how to avoid this situation, but Bert Fulks, the father of teenage son Danny, was thinking about this problem. Fulks is the pastor himself and grew up in the pastor's house; He knows how difficult it is to grow in such an atmosphere.

Fulks trusts his son, but for him it was important that the son is not afraid to call for help, if necessary.

To do this, Fulks developed an original cipher, which allows his son to send his father a signal to the SOS, not embarrassed by his friends.

This idea came to Fulkes in the head when he communicated with adolescents in rehabilitation clinics across America. He tells:

"Recently I asked these guys:" You used to happen that you got into circumstances where something unpleasant for you starts to happen, but you do not go away, because you do not see any way out? "All of them raised their hands."

Fulks explains how his system works:

For example, my youngest son went to a party.

If for any reason he becomes uncomfortable in this situation, it is enough for him to send the letter X to one of us (mother, me, older brother or sister).

Next, the SMS recipient follows a simple protocol. A few minutes later he calls Danny. When he picks up the phone, the following conversation occurs:

- Hello?

"Danny, there's something happened, I need to pick you up urgently."

- What happened?

- I'll tell you later. Get ready, I'm on my way.

Then Danny tells his friends that something has happened at home, so now someone will come and take him.

Most importantly: children need to know that they will not be punished for the situation from which they want to escape.

Fulks insists that in order to build trust between the parent and the child, one must adhere to the policy of "no unnecessary questions".


Of course, not all parents can keep from asking ... but mutual respect and trust is the only way to protect the child from harm!

How to choose a backpack




Backpack selection

When choosing a backpack, you should pay attention to the following features:

Materials

Firms-manufacturers use modern materials: various synthetic fabrics, light and strong, waterproof and not frozen. The Cordura fabric is very popular. For a suspended system, it is better to choose fabrics with membrane technologies - to remove moisture and heat from the body. Numerous lines and cords of backpacks are also chosen to be synthetic; they are capable of withstanding heavy loads.

The form

The higher the center of gravity of the backpack and the closer it is to the person's back, the easier it is to carry the load. On the other hand, the backpack should not be much wider than the shoulders - it will cling to everything in the forest during active movement, not every door can be walked through. Therefore, the choice of a backpack is mainly high and narrow. The possibility of "growth" in breadth remains in the form of attaching additional cargo to the side.

The volume of backpacks is measured in liters. However, everything is not so simple! Measure these liters in different ways. Someone thinks the total volume of the backpack is the volume of pockets, somebody does not. Therefore, if it is written on the backpack that its volume is 60 liters, it does not mean anything.

Backpacks of medium (50-60 liters) and large (over 60) volumes are often made with the separation of the main container into two parts. According to some, the convenience of dividing into two compartments is completely compensated by a decrease in strength - any element complicating the product reduces reliability. On the other hand, it is very convenient not to disassemble the entire bag in order to get a warm hat or mittens from the bottom of the backpack. In this situation, the choice is yours.

Suspension system

Straps must meet the basic requirement - to be comfortable. It is in the design of straps that 80% of the convenience of carrying a backpack with active loads is laid.

First of all, when choosing a strap, they should be sewn on the figure, or it should be possible to adjust them. This applies to the height of the attachment point, and the distance between the straps. Too widely spaced straps will fall off your shoulders.

The form of the straps is crescent shaped, or S-shaped. The choice of straight straps is less convenient, they inevitably crumble, following the form of the shoulders. In places where the person is in contact with the body, the straps should be soft.

The choice of width of the straps is about 2-3 in on the average. This is enough for comfortable carrying even very heavy loads; wider straps fall off the shoulders or, conversely, crash into the neck.

Buckles adjusting the length of the straps should be tightened downwards so that you can adjust the straps by already wearing a backpack. When choosing a backpack, bear in mind that the buckles on the straps must withstand heavy loads.

The design of the straps assumes the presence of a puller running from the top of the shoulder to the top of the main capacity of the backpack. These are belts that do not allow the backpack to recline from the back. The position of the straps and the sewing point of these belts should be so aligned that the belts, as it were, continue up the line of straps from the shoulders, starting at the collarbone area.

Belt strap allows you to transfer some of the active loads from the shoulders to the lower back, to the hips. This is justified by human anatomy. But it is important that the belt sat on the hips.

Belt straps are sewn and removable. Preferably choose removable. The width of the waist belt is not less than 4 in, preferably anatomical shape, and fitting hip. Inside the belt device is similar to the design of straps.

Valve

The valve on the top of the backpack is more common in models larger than 40 liters. It not only closes the top of the bag from rain or snow, but also is an extra capacity, allows you to put in it essentials so that they are always at hand.

By its design, the valves are sewn and "floating". At "floating" it is possible to adjust an arrangement on a backpack depending on its height. It is possible and generally to unfasten the valve and use it separately as a waist bag or a small backpack (if provided by the design of the valve).

Screws

Screeds are needed to adjust the volume of the backpack. Ideally, screeds should form a closed belt "frame" around the backpack, and the entire load should fall on the belts. A better option is if the sling is sewn through an additional triangle of dense fabric that distributes the load over a large area.

In addition to the side and vertical screeds, an additional strap is also placed, allowing the main volume to be tightened from above, but under the valve. This is very convenient, if you push into a stuffed backpack any soft thing. The choice of model with an additional line allows you to compress the volume under the valve.

Pockets

When choosing on pockets, you should also pay attention because they are convenient for storing small items. It is important to have the pockets on the backpack, because the location of the pockets at the bottom of the backpack is not always practical. During the stops you have to put the backpack not always on a clean surface with pockets down. Zippers on pockets will quickly fail if they are located in places of active load of the backpack. Many manufacturers refuse from pockets, limiting the valve.

Hitch

Expedition and assault backpacks have a number of traditional places for securing external cargo. First, there are belts for cats on top of the valve. A rope, a tent, a narrow rug can be attached from below-behind the backpack, under the bottom, for which there are also sewn belts with buckles. If the backpack does not have back pockets, then it is convenient to mount the mat backwards vertically along the backpack. To carry the ice ax at the junction of the back wall with the bottom, the loops are sewn from the slings, behind them the ice tool is started with the beak down, and the handle is fixed with a velcro strap or buckle.


There are different semi-rings and carbines for fixing items on the strap - from the mittens to the knife and flask.

Tips for Surviving in the Jungle




Tips for Surviving in the Jungle

In the dense abyss of the jungle there is a lot of danger, which more than once exceeded human capabilities and attempts to survive.
But, taking into account all the directions listed below, you can not only resist the wild conditions of the jungle, but also to return home in safety and integrity.

However sad it may sound, but alas, you are lost in the jungle. As they say, you can not help the tears; it's time to move to decisive actions on survival:

1. Find a source of drinking water.
2. Find food.
3. Find / Build a shelter.
4. To move in one direction. 
5. Ensure safety.

Let's talk about each of the points in more detail. 

1. Find a source of drinking water.

Unlike the dry climate of the desert, jungle forests have high humidity, so finding water will not be difficult. So, the sources of drinking water will be:

Rain:

Rain in the jungle is not uncommon. From large leaves of plants you can make a funnel to collect rainwater. But before using it, it is better to boil water to kill all the bacteria contained in it. For this purpose, a tin / aluminum can work well.

Stems of bamboo:

During the rain, bamboo accumulates some water. Tilt the stalk of the bamboo so that the water gets into the capacity for this.

Solar Water Collector:

Step 1: Dig a hole in the ground.

Step 2: Place a container in the center of the pit to collect water.

Step 3: Fill the space around the container with something moist, such as wet leaves.

Step 4: Cover the pit with a plastic sheet, laying stones along its edges.

Step 5: Place a small stone in the center of the sheet just above the water collecting tank.

Step 6: Condensed water will accumulate on the inside of the sheet and move to its center, filling the tank with distilled drinking water.

2. Find food:

As you know, in the jungle grows a huge number of plants and lives at least the number of animals, so the source of food for survival can be anything. The only thing that needs to be decided is how to get it. Here are some practical tips:

Hunting / Traps:

Do not waste your energy in vain for hunting, if you have not done it before. It is better to arrange traps, and save energy for other moments of survival. To increase your chances of having something to eat on your table for dinner, let's set up several pitfalls in different places in this way:

Step 1: Find three branches and a heavy stone.

Step 2: Make a few notches on the sticks.

Step 3: Hold the stone with your hand when installing the sticks.

Step 4: When the stone was propped up with sticks, install another trigger stick.

Step 5: Gently release the structure.

Step 6: When a bird or small animal tries to take the bait, the trigger will fall, and the stone will kill the victim with a deadly blow.

Fisheries:

If in the jungle you have discovered a river or a stream, consider that there is another source of food in front of you, which is full of fish. And in order to catch it, it will be more convenient to use a spear with four prongs, which we will try to do now:

Step 1: Choose the right bamboo trunk for your future spear.

Step 2: Using a knife, cut the end of the bamboo stick into four pieces, forming four prongs.

Step 3: Using a rope or stem of a curling plant, separate each tooth from each other. Your fishing tool is ready!

Eating fruits:

Before eating any fruit, you must rely on your experience: eat only the fruit in the edibility and safety of which you are sure. Fruits and plants that you have not met before can be poisonous.

3. Find / Build a shelter:

Needless to say, how important is the role of refuge if you are alone in the open. Therefore, we will not discuss this for a long time and will immediately begin to work.

How to build a shelter-shelter:

Step 1: Find a large branch and lean it against a tree.

Step 2: Place a smaller branch at an angle of 45 degrees along the entire length of the large branch on both sides.

Step 3: Cover the structure with foliage.

4. Travel / Recreation:

If you are not sure that soon you will be searched, start the operation of your own salvation yourself. To do this, move around in the jungle only in the daytime, at night you sleep. In order to survive, try to go only in one direction and on the way to memorize any objects to exclude fermentation in a circle.

Also pay attention to that, or left any animal traces. If you notice any, look where they lead. Often they can lead you to a source of water or open space where the rescue team will be easier to find you.

By the way, to move through the thick thickets of the jungle, it is good to stock up a cane made from the usual tree branch. It is useful not only to clear your way from the occurring plants, but it will become a wand and help you get out of loose sands.

5. Security

In the jungle, regardless of their location are predatory animals, so it's wise to always be on the alert. Moving through the jungle is best not hurrying up, without sudden movements and making unnecessary noise. Do not forget to look under your feet, so as not to accidentally step on the snake. If you do not have any weapons, you can use your spear as your self-defense.

The danger of survival in the jungle is also threatened by mosquitoes and other poisonous insects. For example, mosquitoes are carriers of diseases such as malaria, dengue and yellow fever.

If you do not have a remedy for insects, you can use the following methods to protect yourself from bites:

Wear clothing with long sleeves and pants;
Apply unprotected places to dirt;
From a shirt to make a headdress;
Before wearing a shirt or shoes, carefully check them for the presence of spiders and insects.


In addition, in the jungle inhabited by innumerable parasites, so do not cross the river without special need. If this is absolutely necessary, make sure that the water level reaches a maximum to the knee.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Anecdotes about zombies Part 2




Anecdotes about zombies Part 2

If the zombie apocalypse started and my boss became a zombie, then to kill him, he would need to shoot an ass

And what will happen, for example, if a television that works urinates?
I do not know, but you'll outlive the zombie apocalypse at all.
What's this?
Because, my friend, YOU DO NOT HAVE BRAINS!

- Is sex with zombies necrophilia?
- Even though you are a zombie. If the fact that he is dead, then yes - necrophilia.
Well, but you never know, maybe you just like him, maybe he's a good man :)

Midnight. Morgue. The orderlies sit in the back room and drink official alcohol. In the section the poor student is on duty. Suddenly he flies into the back room with a green face:
"There ... There ..."
Alarmed orderlies:
- What?
"The dead man came to life there!"
- Oh, damn it! We really were afraid, thought the head doctor with a check.

One zombie at another asks:
-And what kind of ay-kyu do you have?
-When the brain drops out 40, and when I put back 150.

- Suppose, if there had come a zombie apocalypse and some of your acquaintances became zombies, would you decide to shoot them? - Some, I would shoot now!

Best anecdotes about zombies



Best anecdotes about zombies

As you know, many people are buried in strict suits. Therefore, if the zombie apocalypse does happen, it will be a serious event.

Morning coffee is the only thing that separates us from the zombie apocalypse.

Advice in case of a zombie apocalypse: Zombies can only be killed by an accurate shot to the head. Therefore, buy yourself a helmet in advance.

The optimist thinks that the zombie is half alive.

The first law of the zombie apocalypse: be a man, and you will be drawn.

Zombies are better than most people: 1) They have brains 2) They lived their lives 3) They know what they want from others

This awkward moment, when you realize that you have no plans for the future, but there is a plan for a zombie apocalypse

Still, how much depends on the place of action: - Risen in Jerusalem - Miracle; Resurrected in Hollywood - Zombies.

There are two zombies, catching a ride at night to the cemetery, all pass by. One to another: - No, John, so we just like the car no one will stop. - Why? "Your head should be on your shoulders, and you hold it under your arm."


You ask me how to distinguish a bad horror film from a good one? - Very simple! In a bad horror film, they scare the audience with broken glass, burnt corpses, sharp sounds and suddenly jumping out zombies. - And in good - a hedgehog creek softly into the frame and this can be crap!