Anecdotes about bears

Anecdotes about bears

A man lost his way in the forest. It stands and yells: "Ay, ay, ay!"

Behind him, someone claps. Turns around - a bear.

Bear: "Man, why are you yelling?"

Man "Lost, maybe someone will hear."

Bear: "Well, I heard, it became easier for you?"

The old bear teaches the young:

"You have to attack a person so that he can see and react to you."

- What for?

"They're tastier then, there's no shit in them."

Two bears sit in a den and look thoughtfully at the falling leaves.

One says:

"How I wish I did not sleep in the winter to look at the fools who glue them back."

In the lair of a little bear asking the pope:

- Dad, shows the puppet theater!

Bear-daddy:

- Leave it!

"Well, Dad, show me the puppet theater!"

- Sleep, come on, it's too late!

- Well, Dad!

The bear-daddy goes to the corner of the den, takes out two human skulls, puts them on the front paws and says:

First skull: - You hear, John! And here bears are found?

Second skull: - Where does the bear come from?

The duck hunter, after a misfire, gets frustrated. Hunter for bears, after a misfire, does not have time to get upset.

When meeting a bear, you need to pretend to be dead. - The bear will understand that before him a complete moron, and will not get involved.

- Where have you been? - In the woods. - What did you do there? "I wanted to fight a mad bear." - What for? "To rest from domestic chores, dear."

You're no longer small to sleep with a teddy bear. Sleep with the present, be a man!

Few people know that "Au!" In translation into the language of bears means "Lunch".

Bear, who learned to scream "Ay!" never is hungry.

A hefty mechanical bear, revived by a touch, was supposed to attract people to the shopping center. And he created a huge line in the toilet.